There’s no right or wrong way to break up with someone, but sometimes the most unconventional methods are the funniest. If you’re looking for a way to end things that will make your ex laugh (or cry) rather than feel hurt, check out these funny ways to break up with someone.
From dumping them in front of all their friends to sending them a ridiculous text message, there’s sure to be a method here that fits your unique sense of humor. So have fun with it – and remember, even though breaking up is hard to do, at least it can be funny too!
20 Funny Ways To Break Up With Someone
It’s never easy to break up with someone. Even if you know it’s the right thing to do, it’s still tough to see someone you care about hurt. But sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and do it. And when you do, there’s no need to be mean about it. In fact, you can even have a little fun with it. Here are 20 funny ways to break up with someone:
1. Get a banner made that says “It’s over!” and then fly it over their house.
No one ever said that breaking up was easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult, especially if you’re not entirely sure that you want to end things. However, there are a few surefire signs that it might be time to call it quits.
For example, if you’re constantly arguing or if the spark has simply gone out, it might be time to move on. Of course, actually breaking up can be tough, too.
If you’re looking for a funny way to do it, you could always get a banner made that says “It’s over!” and fly it over your ex’s house. Just be prepared for them to break out the artillery.
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2. Change all of your social media profiles to say that you’re single and available.
There are all sorts of ways to break up with someone. Some people opt for the dramatic route, while others prefer to keep things low-key. If you’re looking for a way to break up with someone in a funny way, you could always change your social media profiles to say that you’re single and available.
This will definitely get their attention, and it might even prompt them to break up with you first! Of course, this isn’t the most mature way to handle things, but it can be amusing at the moment. Just be prepared for the potential consequences of your actions!
3. Ask them to take your relationship to the previous level when you were friends.
If you’re not ready to break up with someone but you want to let them know that things aren’t going as well as they could be, you could always ask them to take your relationship back to the previous level when you were friends.
This is a subtle way of breaking up with someone, and it might even prompt them to do the same to you. Of course, it’s also possible that they’ll take you seriously and agree to be friends again. Either way, it’s a funny way to let them know that things aren’t working out!
4. Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
There are all sorts of ways to break up with someone, but if you’re looking for a good laugh (or just want to be really mean), there’s nothing better than using twisted words.
By saying something like “Hey, remember back when we were a thing? Yeah… Good times,” you’ll not only catch your lover off guard, but you’ll also probably leave them feeling pretty confused (and maybe even a little insulted).
But that’s just the way breakups go sometimes – one person is always left feeling a little bit hurt.
5. Change your profile status to single when you are dating them.
If you’re not ready to break up with someone but you want to let them know that things aren’t going as well as they could be, you could always change your social media profile status to “single.”
This is a subtle way of breaking up with someone, and it might even prompt them to do the same to you. Of course, it’s also possible that they’ll take you seriously and agree to be friends again. Either way, it’s a funny way to let them know that things aren’t working out!
6. Thanks for being my partner, now we can be friends without benefits.
Breaking up with someone can be tough, no matter how amicable the split may be. But sometimes, you just need to cut ties and move on. “Thanks for being my partner, now we can be friends without benefits.”
It’s short, sweet, and to the point. Plus, it’s sure to get a laugh out of your ex. So if you’re ready to move on, go ahead and send this break-up text – it might just be the best way to end things.
7. Ask your girlfriend or boyfriend, please find me a blind date.
If you’re not ready to break up with someone but you want to let them know that things aren’t going as well as they could be, you could always ask them to find you a blind date.
This is a subtle way of breaking up with someone, and it might even prompt them to do the same to you. Of course, it’s also possible that they’ll take you seriously and agree to be friends again. Either way, it’s a funny way to let them know that things aren’t working out!
8. Send them a package full of breakup-themed items, like tissues, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and Adele CDs.
The idea is to make the breakup as painless as possible, and to provide a bit of comic relief in the process. Of course, you’ll want to be sure that the person you’re breaking up with has a sense of humor before you go this route. Otherwise, you may end up causing more hurt feelings than you intended.
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9. Return everything they ever bought you…including the gift receipt (for full price). With a note, let’s break up.
There are plenty of ways to let someone know that it’s time to move on, but some are funnier than others. One particularly amusing way to break up with someone is to return everything they ever bought you, gift receipt included.
This is sure to send a message that you’re done, and it might even get a laugh out of the person you’re breaking up with. Of course, this approach isn’t for everyone, but if you’re looking for a light-hearted way to end things, this could be the perfect solution.
10. Set up an appointment for them to meet with a “life coach” who will tell them that they need to break up with you because you’re holding them back from reaching their full potentials…and then secretly hire an actor to play the role of the life coach.
There are all sorts of ways to break up with someone. You can do it in person, over the phone, or even via text message. But if you really want to have some fun with it, there are a few creative ways to go about it.
For example, you could set up an appointment for your soon-to-be ex to meet with a “life coach” who will tell them that they need to break up with you because you’re holding them back from reaching their full potentials.
Or, you could secretly hire an actor to play the role of the life coach and have them deliver the news in person. If you’re feeling particularly devious, you could even videotape the conversation and post it online for all to see.
11. “Want to see a magic trick?” [Sure] “Poof you’re single.”
If you’re looking for a funny way to break up with someone, this one’s sure to leave them stunned and confused. Just tell them you want to show them a magic trick, then say “poof” and they’re single. They’ll be so baffled by what just happened that they won’t even be able to argue with you.
And if they do try to argue, you can just say it was all part of the act. So go ahead and give this method a try the next time you need to break up with someone – it’s sure to be a memorable experience for both of you!
12. Create a breakup playlist full of songs like “I Will Survive,” “Bye, Bye, Bye,” and “It’s Not You, It’s Me.”
For starters, you could create a breakup playlist full of songs like “I Will Survive,” “Bye, Bye, Bye,” and “It’s Not You, It’s Me.” Or, you could write a break-up letter in the form of a haiku.
If you’re feeling particularly creative, you could even stage a fake proposal, only to “break up” with your partner at the last minute. Whatever route you choose, just make sure that your sense of humor is on point – otherwise, you might end up causing more hurt than laughter.
13. Girl you’re looking like a snack and I’m going on a diet.
You could tell your soon-to-be ex that you’re “going on a diet” and you’re no longer interested in dating someone who’s “looking like a snack.” Or, if you’re feeling particularly punny, you could tell them that you’re “breaking up with them for good” and “no hard feelings.”
Whatever you do, just make sure you don’t break up with them in a way that’s cruel or insensitive. After all, even though the relationship is ending, there’s no need to end things on a bad note.
14. Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Dumping someone is never easy, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it. If you’re looking for a fun way to break up with someone, look no further than this handy list.
From “Our relationship is like my financial status: broke” to “I’m not comfortable with how much commitment you’re asking for,” these ideas are sure to get a laugh – even if they don’t lead to a second date. So go ahead and give one of them a try – it might just be the easiest way to break up that you’ve ever experienced.
15. Our relationship might be a titanic that just hit a glacier.
You could tell them that your relationship is like the Titanic – it’s hit a glacier and is slowly sinking. Or you could say that you’re feeling suffocated and need some space, so you’re going to move to Antarctica.
If you want to be really cruel, you could tell them that you’ve been seeing someone else… who happens to be a penguin. Obviously, these aren’t the best ways to end a relationship, but they might make your ex-partner laugh… or cry. Either way, it’ll be over quickly and painlessly… for you, at least.
16. Are we tectonic plates? Because we’re drifting apart.
You could tell you’re significant other that you’re breaking up with them because you’re drifting apart – like tectonic plates. Or, you could say that you need some time apart to ‘find yourself.
If you want to be really funny, you could tell your ex that you’re breaking up with them because they’re driving you crazy. Whatever way you choose to break up with someone, just make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons. Otherwise, it’s not going to be funny – it’ll just be cruel.
17. You’re not my cup of tea, so we must decaffeinate.
Breakups are always tough, whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee. But sometimes, you just know it’s time to move on. If you want to break up but feel less pain and hurt your partner lesser.
You could say “You’re not my cup of tea, so we must decaffeinate.” Or “I think it’s time we went our separate ways… like North and South Korea.” Whatever you say, just make sure you don’t lead them on. Breaking up is hard enough as it is!
18. It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
If you want to be really blunt, you could tell you’re significant other that you’re breaking up with them because “it’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.”
Or, if you want to be a little more subtle, you could say that you need some time apart to “find yourself.”
Whatever way you choose to break up with someone, just make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons. Otherwise, it’s not going to be funny – it’ll just be cruel.
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19. We’re like a deck of cards, we just keep getting shuffled apart.
This is another one that’s subtle but still gets the point across. You could tell your partner that you’re breaking up with them because “we’re like a deck of cards, we just keep getting shuffled apart.”
Or, you could say that you’re not feeling the same way about them as you used to and you need to end things.
Either way, your partner is sure to be hurt by the breakup, but at least it will be over quickly.
20. I think it’s time we stop seeing each other… in my dreams.
If you want to be really blunt, you could tell your partner that you’re breaking up with them because “I think it’s time we stop seeing each other… in my dreams.”
If you want to be a little more subtle, you could say that you’re not feeling the same way about them as you used to and you need to end things.
Either way, your partner is sure to be hurt by the breakup, but at least it will be over quickly.
Break-Up Memes
We’ve all been there before – the breakup. It’s tough, it hurts, and it’s almost impossible to get through without a good cry (or ten). But sometimes, in the midst of all that pain, we can find a little bit of humor. And that’s where break-up memes come in.
Whether you’re the one who did the breaking up, or you’re on the receiving end, there’s a break-up meme out there that perfectly sums up how you’re feeling. And trust me, they’re a lot more fun than wallowing in your sorrows.
So next time you’re feeling down about a break-up, just hop on the internet and check out some of these hilarious memes. They might not make the pain go away completely, but they’ll definitely help you get through it.
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1. Savage Breakup
2. Fake Scenario
3. Breaking Up In Response To WYD
4. ILY
5. Knock Knock… And Break-Up
6. I Have Something To Say
7. It’s Not Working Out
8. Breakup In Batman Style
9. Breakup With Emojis
10. You will Find Someone Like You
30 Break-Up Lines Brutal Yet Funny
There’s no sugar-coating it: breakups are tough. But sometimes, in the midst of all the heartache and anguish, you can find a little bit of humor. If you’re feeling a bit tongue-tied when it comes to ending things with your significant other, maybe one of these brutal but funny break-up lines will do the trick.
1. “Our relationship is like the Kennedy marriage, long and exhausting.”
2. “You’re like my little toe, I keep stubbing you and it hurts.”
3. “You’re not even worth the bytes that make up this text message.”
4. “It’s over between us because I can no longer put up with your constant need for attention.”
5. “You’re like a printer, you were good for a while but now you just keep jamming.”
6. “I’m going to end this relationship the same way I end all my relationships: with a restraining order.”
7. “It’s not me, it’s you. No, wait, it is me. I just don’t like you anymore.”
8. “We’ve grown apart because you’re an idiot and I’m not.”
9. “You’re like a fidget spinner, fun for a little while but eventually just annoying.”
10. “I’ve realized that I deserve better than you and your constant drama.”
11. “I’m breaking up with you because I don’t love you anymore, plain and simple.”
12. “It’s not me, it’s you… and also you smell bad.”
13. “You’re not the person I thought you were. No, wait, you are exactly the person I thought you were.”
14. “You’re like a penny, common and not worth very much.”
15. “We’re breaking up because I can’t handle your constant neediness.”
16. “Our relationship is like a deck of cards, it’s over when I run out of patience.”
17. “You’re like a book, once I finish you I’ll never read you again.”
18. “You’re not even worth the time it took to write this text message.”
19. “It’s over between us because I can no longer put up with your incessant texting.”
20. “We’re breaking up because I realized I deserve better than you and your constant drama.”
21. “I’m done with you because you’re just too much drama for me.”
22. “We’re breaking up because I can no longer handle your needy texts.”
23. “You’re like a broken record, all you do is repeat the same mistakes.”
24. “I’m breaking up with you because you just don’t know how to communicate.”
25. “You never listen to me, so I’m done listening to you.”
26. “I’m breaking up with you because I need some time for myself.”
27. “I am breaking up with you because I want my peace back.”
28. “I’ve had enough of your crap, I’m done!”
29. “We’re breaking up because you just don’t make me happy anymore.”
30. “It’s time for me to move on, and that means moving on from you.”
Funny Ways To Break-Up With Someone From Movies
1. Scott Got Dump On His Graduation Day – Eurotrip 2004
2. Breaking Up On A Dinner Date – Legally Blonde 2001
3. Two Breakups In One Go – Friends With Benefits 2011
4. Breakup In The Party – How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days 2003
5. You Not Me – Happiness 1998
Conclusion
There are many funny ways to break up with someone, but these three methods are some of the most brutal yet funny. By using any of these methods, you are sure to get a reaction out of your ex. Just be sure that you are prepared for their reaction because it might not be what you expect.
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Samra has completed her master’s in literature & loves to write about topics that piques her interests. Here, she is working on exploring that importance of things that matters to her.