It’s not uncommon for someone to receive a spam call on their phone. Spam calls are usually for products or services you never asked for, with the intention of tricking you into buying something. It can be frustrating when these scams happen, but there are ways to avoid them.
For example, you can add your number to the National Do Not Call Registry which will stop sales calls from real companies. You can also download call blocker apps that will stop spam calls from ever reaching you. Or, if you want to have some fun with scammers, you can try one of the many funny ways to answer spam calls that are available online.
The other day, I received a spam call from a caller who claimed to be from the IRS. After asking me several questions about my taxes, the caller then demanded that I pay a “fine” for supposed irregularities in my tax return. I was about to lose my cool when I suddenly had a brilliant idea.
Instead of getting angry, I decided to have some fun with the caller. I pretended that I didn’t understand what they were talking about and acted like I was confused. The caller got frustrated and eventually hung up. It may not have stopped them from calling again, but it definitely made me feel better.
There are other ways to handle spam calls as well. You can pretend to be someone else, or you can simply give the caller a piece of your mind. However you choose to handle them, just remember to stay calm and don’t let them get to you. With a little creativity, you can turn an annoying experience into a funny one.
45 Funny Ways To Answer Spam Calls
If you’re like most people, you probably get a lot of spam calls. And if you’re like most people, you probably hate them. But what if there was a way to turn the tables on these nuisance callers?
Here are 50 funny ways to answer a spam call:
1. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak English.” This one is sure to confuse the caller and hopefully end the call quickly.
2. “Hello, IRS? I’m trying to report a scammer.”
3. “Sorry, this number is no longer in service.”
5. “You have reached the suicide hotline, please press 1 now.”
6. “This is the operator, please hang up and try your call again.”
7. “I’m sorry, all our operators are currently busy. Please hold for the next available operator.”
8. “Hello, you have reached the Department of Redundancy Department.”
9. “The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected for non-payment. Please call back when you have the funds available.”
10. “We’re sorry, this call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.”
11. “Hello, this is the Local Police Station. Your call will be recorded for quality assurance purposes.”
12. “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. This is 555-1234.”
13. “This is the operator, how may I help you?”
14. “Sorry, we’re closed right now. Please call back during business hours.”
15. “Hello, welcome to the psychic hotline. Please hold for your free reading.”
16. “I’m sorry, all our lines are busy right now. Please try your call again later.”
18. “Sorry, this number is no longer in service. Please try 411 for directory assistance.”
19. “Thank you for calling tech support. If you would like to make a call, please hang up and try again.”
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20. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. You’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”
21. “Please enter your 10-digit phone number followed by the pound sign.”
22. “Hello, welcome to the Department of Defense. Your call is very important to us. Please hold for the next available operator.”
23. “Welcome to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.”
25. “You have reached the voicemail of the President of the United States. Please leave a message after the beep.”
26. When someone starts trying to sell you something, just tell them that you already have a business in that area. For example, if they try to sell you a new water filter, just say that you own a water store. This will usually shut them down immediately. While it may not be the most polite way to handle things, it can be an effective way to protect yourself from unwanted sales pitches.
27. If they ask for your name, simply ask them who they are in return. If they are a telemarketer, tell them that you are deceased and start crying. Chances are, they will quickly take you off their call list. This little prank is a great way to waste a telemarketer’s time and get some satisfaction at the same time. So next time you get a call from an unknown number, don’t be afraid to pick up and have some fun.
28. Would you answer the phone in a normal voice and go along with what they say for a minute, then suddenly exclaim, “OH MY GOD NO! NO STAY BACK, KEEP AWAY FROM ME, I’m SORRY I’LL GET IT FOR YOU I SWEAR,” and then drop the phone?
In this case, the “other person” is a telemarketer, and the need being neglected is your own sanity. But hey, if it makes the telemarketer go away, it might be worth it.
29. You can also pretend that you are a telemarketer yourself. When they start their pitch, cut them off and say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were a telemarketer.” This will usually confuse them long enough for you to hang up.
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30. You could also be really vague in your responses. For example, if they ask you what your interests are, you could say something like, “Oh, you know, the usual…” or “I like to keep things fresh and exciting, so I’m always trying new things.” This will leave them so confused that they won’t know what to say next, and you can take advantage of the silence to hang up.
32. You could also make up a story about why you can’t talk. For example, you could say that you’re in the middle of a funeral or that you’re about to go into surgery. This will probably make them feel guilty and they will hang up.
33. Another option is to be completely honest with them. When they ask you what your interests are, tell them that you’re not interested in anything they have to say. This will probably make them angry, but it will also make them hang up.
34. You could also ask them personal questions. For example, you could ask them about their family or their hobbies. This will probably make them uncomfortable and they will hang up.
35. Or you could just be completely random in your responses. For example, you could start singing a song or telling them a joke. This will probably confuse them and they will hang up.
36. You could also pretend to be a robot. When they start talking, just start repeating everything they say in a monotone voice. This will probably frustrate them and they will hang up.
37. Or you could just be completely silent and wait for them to hang up. This is probably the least effective way to get rid of a telemarketer, but it’s also the least effort.
38. You could also try to sell them something. For example, you could tell them that you have a great deal on a timeshare or a car insurance policy. This will probably make them angry and they will hang up.
39. You could also pretend to be a potential customer. For example, you could say that you’re interested in what they’re selling and ask them to send you more information. This will probably make them happy and they will hang up.
40. You could also try to waste their time. For example, you could ask them to hold while you go get someone who can help you with their offer. This will probably make them angry and they will hang up.
41. You could also try to be annoying. For example, you could keep interrupting them or talking over them. This will probably make them angry and they will hang up.
42. I just pretend that I’m Amish and my religion doesn’t allow me to have whatever it is they’re selling.
It’s a great excuse because even though we both know for sure you aren’t actually an elected member of our community who has been given permission by those before us, questioning your beliefs would still be kind of asshole move so this pushes them into turf where 99% percent their usual responses make them look like total assholes while letting me stay politely worded-the whole time.
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43. If I get a call from a scammer, I like to have some fun with them. I always ask them what they tell their parents they do for a living. It’s always great to hear their stammering response as they try to come up with a convincing answer.
Most of them are quick to hang up after that. But if they’re persistent, I might ask them whether their parents are proud of them for being a thief. That usually gets them riled up and they end up swearing at me before they finally hang up. Either way, it’s a satisfying way to deal with those irritating scam calls.
44. My brother was never one for pickup lines. In fact, he would always just blurt out, “You sound hot. Are you hot?” It was cringey, yet effective. More often than not, he would walk away with a number. I never understood how he did it, but his confidence is what attracted people to him. He was never afraid to approach someone and strike up a conversation.
45. Some people are particularly talented at imitating accents or voices. They can do a pretty good impression of the person they’re trying to mimic, and it can be quite entertaining to listen to.
However, if you’re not one of those people, don’t worry – there’s still hope for you! You can practice your impersonations by searching for interesting video footage on YouTube. You may not sound as good as the actors you might want to impersonate, but it’s the thought that counts.
10 Funny Inappropriate Ways To Answer Spam Calls
We’ve all gotten spam calls before. You know, the ones where someone trying to sell you something or scam you in some way. They’re annoying, and we all just want them to go away. But what if instead of just hanging up, you had some fun with them? Here are 10 funny, inappropriate ways to answer a spam call:
1. “Hello, this is the IRS. We’ve been investigating you for tax evasion and we have evidence to suggest that you are guilty. If you’d like to avoid jail time, we recommend that you pay us $5,000 immediately.”
2. “Welcome to the National Security Agency. How may we help you?”
3. “Hello, I’m calling from the Department of Homeland Security. We have reason to believe that you are in possession of illegal firearms. If you’d like to avoid being arrested, we recommend that you surrender all weapons to us within 24 hours.”
4. “Hi, this is Microsoft technical support. We’ve been getting reports that your computer has been infected with a virus. We recommend that you format your hard drive and reinstall Windows immediately to avoid any further damage.”
5. “Hello, this is the FBI. We have received information that you have been involved in terrorist activities. If you cooperate with us, we may be able to go easy on you.”
6. “Hello, my name is Joe and I’m with the Mafia. We’ve been watching you and we know you’re involved in some shady business dealings. If you don’t want to end up sleeping with the fishes, we recommend that you pay us $10,000.”
7. “Hi, this is your local police department. We’ve been getting complaints about illegal activity at your address. If you don’t want us to raid your house, we recommend that you pay us $1,000.”
8. “Welcome to the Department of Motor Vehicles. How may we help you?”
9. “Hello, this is your credit card company. We’ve been monitoring your account, and we noticed that you’ve been making some large purchases recently. If you don’t want your account to be frozen, we recommend that you pay us $3,000.”
10. “Hello, is this Mr. Smith? We’ve been getting complaints from your neighbors about loud music late at night. If you don’t want us to take action, we recommend that you pay us $500.”
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5 Funny Ways to Answer Spam Calls Tiktok
If you’ve been on the internet for more than five minutes, you’ve probably received a spam call. And if you’re anything like me, you find them incredibly annoying. But what if there was a way to turn the tables and have a little fun with them? Here are five fun ways to answer spam calls, courtesy of TikTok:
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5. Scam Calls Be So Obvious
7 Funny Ways To Answer Spam Calls Crematorium
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of getting a spam call, you know how frustrating it can be. But there are ways to deal with these pesky calls that can actually be pretty funny. Here are 7 of the best:
1. Introducing yourself as the “cremation specialist”
Hi, my name is Brian and I’m the cremation specialist here at Smith Funeral Home. I want to take a moment to talk to you about what that means and why it might be the right choice for your loved one. Cremation is an increasingly popular option for those who want a simple and affordable funeral service. But there’s more to it than just saving money.
Cremation is also a way to reduce your environmental impact. It uses far less energy than traditional burial methods, and it doesn’t require the use of chemicals or other potentially harmful materials. And because cremation doesn’t take up as much space as burial, it’s a good option for those who want to be cremated without taking up too much land.
So if you’re interested in learning more about cremation, or if you think it might be the right choice for your loved one, please don’t hesitate to give me a call. I’ll be happy to answer any of your questions. Thanks for listening.
2. Saying you’re from the “death care industry” and asking if they’re interested in learning more
By pretending to be from the “death care industry”, you can give these telemarketers a taste of their own medicine. Just tell them you’re calling from the crematorium and ask if they’re interested in learning more. I guarantee you they’ll never bother you again!
3. Asking if they have any dead bodies they need to be disposed of
The next time you get a spam call, try asking if they have any dead bodies they need to be disposed of. Chances are, they’ll hang up pretty quickly! And even if they don’t, you’ll at least have gotten a good chuckle out of the situation. So go ahead and give it a try the next time you get a call from a telemarketer – it just might be the best way to deal with them!
4. Seeing if they’re interested in a “two for one” deal
Hey there! We’re currently running a special at the crematorium – two bodies for the price of one! So if you’ve got any extra corpses lying around, now’s the time to take advantage of this deal. Just bring them on down and we’ll take care of the rest. Thanks for considering us!
5. Casually mentioning that you just got out of prison for killing people
If you really want to freak them out, try casually mentioning that you just got out of prison for killing people. I guarantee they’ll never call you again! And even if they don’t hang up, they’ll probably be too creeped out to continue the conversation. So go ahead and give it a try the next time you get a telemarketer call – it just might be the best way to get rid of them!
6. Saying you’re from the “cremation society” and asking if they want to join
By pretending to be from the “cremation society”, you can give these telemarketers a taste of their own medicine. Just tell them you’re calling from the crematorium and ask if they want to join. I guarantee you they’ll never bother you again!
7. Asking if they want to buy a used coffin
It’s no secret that spam callers are pretty relentless. They’ll call you at all hours of the day, and they’re always trying to sell you something. But sometimes, you just need a break from their sales pitches. Then try this trick.
When you receive a spam call, simply ask if they want to buy a used coffin. It’s a great way to get rid of those pesky callers, and it might even give them something to think about. After all, nobody likes to be reminded of their own mortality.
This is what happens when you try to scam a Police officer
This is what happens when a Scammer calls a Software Engineer
Why only get bothered by spam calls why don’t try to make them taste their own medicine? Give them a good laugh with some of these creative ways to answer spam calls!
You might even be able to convince them to stop bothering you altogether. After all, laughter is the best medicine!
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Samra has completed her master’s in literature & loves to write about topics that piques her interests. Here, she is working on exploring that importance of things that matters to her.